Advice - Imaam Shafi

"Whoever slanders to you about others, will slander about you and whoever reports to you, will soon report about you." (Imaam Shafi)

Freedom of Expression?

By: Khalid Baig
Posted: 6 Jumad al-Thani 1431, 20 May 2010

With the latest in-your-face act of the Facebook, the issue is once again attracting headlines. Should Muslims react? How should they react? Where do they stand on the philosophical issue underlying all this?

In the media the issue has been framed as a clash between two camps. One camp stands for freedom of expression. The other wants to curtail it. Needless to say the first camp is enlightened and virtuous. The other is a relic of the dark ages. The clash in other words is between a civilized and civilizing West and Islam that just refuses to be civilized.

Once you accept this framing of the whole issue, the outcome is already decided. Are you for freedom of expression or not? It is a loaded question, and just like the yes/no question, “Have you stopped beating your wife?” no matter how you answer it, you remain guilty.

Look at the typical Muslim response which begins, “We also believe in freedom of expression but…” It matters little what you say after that. It is obvious that you are trying to add exclusions and limitations to a basic moral value while the other side is asking for no such limits. It is not difficult to see which side will come out ahead.

But this predicament is a result of uncritically accepting a false statement about the nature of the clash. For the real clash is not between those who are for and those who are against a freedom. Rather it is between two different freedoms. On the one hand is the freedom to insult. On the other is freedom from insult. Whether it was the Satanic Verses of the 1980s or the Cartoons of 2005 and their endless reproduction since then, if they stand for any freedom, it is freedom to insult. Pure and simple. Muslims, on the other hand, have stood for and demanded freedom from insult. Nothing more. Nothing less.

These are certainly opposing values. You can be for one or the other. And the question does arise, which one is a better value.

To see that let us imagine a society that truly believes in the first as a cherished moral value. It celebrates freedom to insult and guards it at all costs. Every member of it enjoys this freedom and practices it regularly. In a business everyone insults everyone else. The boss is insulting the employees, the employees are insulting the bosses. The salesmen are insulting the customers. The accountants are insulting the creditors. Everyone is enjoying the great freedom to insult. The same is true of the home. The parents are always insulting the children. The children are constantly insulting the parents. The spouses are incessantly insulting each other. And in doing so they all stand on the high moral ground because freedom to insult is such a fundamental freedom on which the society is built.

Actually contrary to the claims of the pundits if the Western society was truly built on this “cherished moral value,” it would have perished a long time ago --- consumed by the fires of hatred and negativity generated by this freedom. No home, no neighborhood, no village, no business, no organization and no society can survive for long if it makes freedom to insult as a cornerstone of its freedoms. Clearly most who advocate this freedom do not practice it in their daily lives. But they are making an exception in the case of Islam and Muslims. The driving force behind this is not any great moral principle but a deep rooted hatred born of ignorance.

Software professionals sometimes use a term called beature. It stands for a bug turned into a feature. A bug is a defect in the software. A feature, on the other hand, is a desirable attribute. A beature is a defect that is presented (thanks to slick marketing) as a feature. Freedom to insult is also a beature. It is the growing sickness of Islamophobia in the West which is being presented as a high moral value, packaged by the slick marketing departments as freedom of expression.

Well, whether or not freedom to insult is a Western value, Islam has nothing to do with it. It lays emphasis on its exact opposite: the freedom from insult. It values human dignity, decency, and harmony in the society. The freedom of religion it ensures includes freedom from insults. While it does not shy away from academic discussion of its beliefs and showing the falsehood of non-Islamic beliefs, it makes sure that the discussion remains civil. In those discussions it wants to engage the intellect of its opponents; in contrast those who itch to insult their opponents are interested in satisfying their vulgar emotions. Thus while its most important battle is against false gods it asks its followers to refrain from reviling them. (Qur’an, Al-anam, 6:108). It also reminds them to stay away from harsh speech. “Allah loves not the utterance of harsh speech save by one who has been wronged.” (Qur’an, Al-Nisa, 4:148). Prophet Muhammad, Sall-Allahu alayhi wa sallam, who is being reviled by the scum of the world, taught Muslims to never let the low moral standards of their adversaries dictate theirs.

As a result of these teachings Muslims can never even imagine insulting any Prophet --- from Adam to Moses to Jesus to Muhammad, peace be upon them all. Even when they ruled the world, Muslims treated the religious leaders of non-Muslim also with respect – even during battles. In the Baghdad court Jewish and Christian scholars engaged in open discussions with the Muslim savants. Needless to say they had not been attracted by the freedom to insult but its exact opposite. Freedom from insult is a fundamental value that assures peace and harmony. It leads to healthy societies. And Muslims are very proud of their impeccable record here.

What is true of a home or a village is also true of the world as it has become a global village. Now, more than ever before, the world needs the harmony and tolerance that can only be assured by the freedom from insults.

Hadith: Seeking Knowledge

Seeking knowledge is obligatory on every Muslim. (Ibm Majah)

Islam is just not a religion... but a way of life!!!

Cultural Chameleons

Praying at home or the masjid, and then sneaking out to party at a nightclub. Wearing hijaab around family, and then turning into a fashion diva at school.One person, two worlds, and a desperate struggle to juggle them both.

This is the reality which many Muslim youth in the West are living in. We can call them “cultural chameleons,” or describe them as having “split personalities.” Whatever the label, the situation is the same… with often tragic consequences. We are not just referring to your community brother or sister’s devastating death, but rather we refer to the many grievous examples of teens running away from home, getting into drugs, and much more -the worst of which is turning away totally from Islam, rejecting it completely. We are not exaggerating. It’s a reality, and those who deny it are either willfully blind or pitifully naive.

It is time that we addressed the situation seriously. First there must be awareness of the reality and knowledge of its causes. The next step is to know what to do when faced with it directly (hint: it does NOT involve killing anyone). And finally, we need to know how to nip the problem in the bud - an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.

Causes

Although each situation is different, there is a general list of what can cause this worst nightmare of any Muslim parent.
Lack of strong Islamic foundation in the home. As with most things, it begins in your own backyard. If you aren’t raising your children as Muslims with a strong understanding of what it means to be a Muslim, then you can’t expect them to be happy about having to follow strict rules all the time. It’s also important to note the difference between Islam and culture. If you don’t pray five times a day, or encourage your kids to pray, yet freak out if a female family member walks out with her head uncovered, then you really need to straighten out your priorities.
Double standards. Related to the first point, here we’re talking about when parents are setting a double standard for themselves and their children: in public they seek to ingratiate themselves within Western society, to achieve the Western societies dream of big house, fancy car, and being best friends with the Joneses next door; yet at home they are obsessed with their children following cultural practices that aren’t even necessarily Islamic. It should be no surprise, then, when the children follow in their parents’ footsteps and start living a double life themselves.
Lack of personal understanding/ conviction of Islam. This is another major factor in youth straying from Islam. Again related to the first point - if you don’t have a strong Islamic foundation in the home, then there will be most likely a lack of understanding of what exactly it means to be a Muslim. If you don’t know the reason behind something, how likely are you to do something if you view it as restrictive and interfering? If you tell your children to pray because if they don’t they’ll burn in Hell, then trust me, they won’t be doing it out of love for Allah - they’ll be doing it out fear… and not even fear of Allah, but fear of you. Similarly, if you tell a girl she has to wear hijaab because otherwise she’ll “stain the family’s honour” or some-such rubbish like that, then once she’s exposed to the Western mentality of freedom (and total lack of anything resembling honour) she won’t give two hoots about the hijaab or your notions of honour. On the other hand, if your child has a personal relationship with Allah and knows exactly why we do some things and stay away from others, they will be far more willing to tough it out and continue to obey Allah.
General teen rebellion. Sometimes, teens can just be idiots. Common sense is a rare thing amongst youth these days, and it shows… sadly, some take it too far - beyond the streaked hair and pierced bellybutton (hey, as long as it’s covered up by hijaab, be cool with it!) - and make some really bad choices. The Messenger of Allah[pbuh] said: “Youth is a kind of madness”[Hadith].Being intoxicated by the passions of youth we never ponder for a moment that we shall we questioned by Allah.
Insecurity. This is something which affects people everywhere, regardless of their race, religion, or even age. The desire to want to “fit in” and become an accepted member of the crowd is human nature - sometimes it can be a good thing; other times it can be so harmful and detrimental. For girls, the issue is often about body image and beauty, which is why hijaab becomes such a struggle. For guys, it can be about proving their “manliness” (by pursuing other girls, or getting involved in ‘tough guy’ activities like drinking alcohol, drugs etc.). Build your child’s self-esteem at home and let them know that they don’t need to seek approval from anyone except Allah. Compliment your children, praise them, let them be confident in their faith and in themselves. Tell your son that he’s cool. Tell your daughter that she’s beautiful. Don’t demean them or belittle them; honour them as the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) honoured his daughter Fatimah (radhiAllahu ‘anha) by giving her his sitting place.
Bad companions. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him.” (Hadith-Al-Bukhari and Muslim).Undoubtedly, the kind of people your kids hang out with will have a huge influence on them - especially at school, which is what a teen’s life pretty much revolves around. Non-Muslims (and even so-called “Muslims”) who have totally different standards morality-wise will definitely make life difficult for your kid: challenging Islam and belittling all that it stands for. While we know that many will say it’s a great Da’wah opportunity, or that it builds character and can be a way to strengthen emaan, the reality is that not all youth are strong enough to emerge the company of such people unscathed. Sadly, we have lost too many of the younger generations to Shaytaan’s misguided lifestyle, and we can’t use a minority of successful young Muslims to deny that reality. The Messenger of Allah[obuh]informed us that: “A man follows his friends religion, you should be careful whom you make friends with.”[Hadith Abu Dawud/Tirmidhi]
The “Adolescent” Myth. This mentality is one of “I’m young, let me have fun and then I’ll be religious when I’m older!” It’s an attitude of irresponsibility, immaturity, and misunderstanding of Islam and the purpose of our lives. By absolving oneself of responsibility, it’s easier for teens to indulge in the haraam without feeling so guilty about it. Thus, it’s obviously very important to instill a sense of responsibility and dutifulness to Allah in our youth - basically, to abolish this kind of mentality. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “ An intelligent person is the one who calls himself to account and and does deeds to benefit him after death and a foolish person is he who follows his desires and hopes from Allah”[Hadith-Tirmidhi]

Symptoms

How do you know if your child, your sibling, or your friend is a “cultural chameleon”? It can be difficult to spot it, but however much a kid can try to sneak around, those closest to them can usually figure out what’s going on. Here are some of the symptoms of the double-life syndrome.
Change of attitude - Increased rebellion, aggression, and disrespect are major red flags. If they’re behaving like that towards you, do you think they won’t behave like that towards Allah? In fact, if they are acting like that with you, then already they’re showing their defiance of Allah! Taqwa and good behaviour to parents go hand-in-hand: “And your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents.” (Quran-Surah al-Israa, verse 23)
Shows dislike of Islamic practices (”Yuck, hijaab is so old-fashioned,” “What’s the point of praying? It’s stupid!” etc.) This is particularly obvious in a household that is generally religious, or has more than just a tentative connection to the Deen.
Secretive, sneaky. It’s important for parents to keep an eye on their kids and know where they are and what they’re doing. If you notice that your child is being secretive, sneaky, and generally deceptive about their activities, then it’s a major red flag that your son or daughter isn’t doing the right thing. This goes for pretty much all families, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, but for us Muslims it means more than just that your kid is with bad company or doing bad things: it means that they’re losing their connection to Allah and to Islam, and this in itself is far worse than whatever sinful activities they’re engaged in.
Solutions

An ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. Educate your child from a young age, build a strong (but loving) Islamic environment within the home. Make them aware of their identity as Muslims, emphasize pride in their Muslim identity. However, we can’t say that prevention is the only thing that we can do - the reality is that even children who were raised in a strong Islamic environment can be “lost” in the Dunya… and this is the reality we have to deal with, not deny.
Having said that, here are some practical solutions on dealing with such situations.
Do not react angrily or violently. If you find out your kid is lying to you and is leading a double life, do NOT freak out at them, scream at them, hit them, etc.
This will :
1) scare them,
2) reinforce their belief that “Islam/ Muslims are evil/ violent”, and
3) not be productive in any way, shape, or form.
Take some time to cool off after you find out. Pray a naafilah (voluntary salaah), and make lots of dua i.e. ask Allah to grant you the patience and strength to deal with the situation.
Talk to them. Ask them what has led them to do the things they’ve done, what their state of belief is (cases differ drastically: some teens still have emaan and are just confused; others go to the point where they deny Islam completely), and how they feel about their situation in general. Try not to judge them; the key is to listen to them and know where they’re coming from. This will give you information on how to best approach them when the time comes to try and “fix” things.
Serious counselling may be needed. If you feel as though you are unable to deal with the situation correctly yourself, contact a trustworthy, knowledgeable, and understanding Imam,Moulana or Shaykh in your area (or use the Muslim Youth Helpline). It’s best to have someone involved who not only knows the Islamic perspective of things, but can also relate to and understand your child. There must be someone whom your child can feel comfortable enough to work with/ talk to if they don’t feel they can open up to you (the parents).
In this stage, there has to be a lot of give-and-take, questions-and-answers. If you already had a long talk with your child previously and asked them all those questions, then now is the time to bring forth your feelings. If you haven’t had the talk, then now is the time to initiate it.
Counselling is a long and sometimes painful process, and only one step forward towards healing. One cannot expect things to change overnight, and it will be very difficult - all I can say is, trust in Allah and look to the Sunnah for help. Have emaan, taqwa, and lots of patience and forbearance. Constantly turn to Allah in du’a, especially the last third of the night. Indeed, this is something that should be done at all times… it is a means of prevention, as well as part of the path to the cure.

Allah Most Wise and Most Merciful says:
“No one despairs of solace from Allah except for those who are unbelievers”[Quran12:87]

MID-DAY NAP- Known as Qailulah in Islam

A short mid-day nap (Qailulah) is a Sunnah. The value of this mid-day nap in total body relaxation
has been appreciated recently by scientists. Not only does a mid-day nap give relaxation to the
body in day time but it is also very conducive to sleep at night. Relaxing once during the day is very
conducive to total relaxation and sleep. It should be appreciated that insomnia is a "powerful
stressor in itself". The Sunnah of short mid-day nap may, therefore, be practiced as a remedy for
sleeplessness. Furthermore, the sunnah is not necessarily to sleep during the day but to lie down
for some time to relax. This is exactly what is required for proper relaxation according to the modem
scientific investigations.

So Why Nap?
-Reduce stress! Siesta-loving persons are more relaxed. They usually score better on stress tests
than others who don’t take a short nap during the day.
-The risk of heart disease is shown to be greatly reduced by regular 30 minute naps.
-Naps greatly strengthen the ability to pay close attention to details and to make critical decisions.
-Naps taken about eight hours after you wake have been proved to do much more for you than if
you added those twenty minutes onto already adequate nocturnal sleep.

Timing Is Everything!
A nap should be about 15 to 30 minutes in duration. If you nap longer than thirty minutes, your body
falls into deep sleep, which is difficult to wake from and when you do, you'll feel groggy.
If you are severely sleep-deprived and must nap longer than 30 minutes, then you shouldn't sleep
less than an hour and a half, which is a complete sleep cycle. WARNING: Don't expect to be fully
alert until at least an hour after that nap.
A 15 minute nap is enough time to turn the nervous system off and can recharge the whole system!
If you are going to nap in the middle of the day, BE CONSISTENT and make a habit of napping
everyday. An irregular napping schedule might disrupt your internal body clock. Napping only on
weekends is like dieting or exercising only on weekends to make up for a week of overeating.
Brief naps taken daily are healthier than sleeping in or taking very long naps on the weekend. Be
careful about taking that long nap on a lazy Sunday afternoon- you may find it hard to get to sleep
that night and getting up on Monday to start the new week.
Late afternoon napping isn't healthy- it delays your falling asleep time in the evening and begins to
shift your biological clock.

Is There An Inborn Tendency To Nap?
Research indicates that the human body is inclined to rest in the middle of the afternoon as well as
at night, even after adequate nocturnal sleep. A heavy lunch does not make you sleepy, it simply
unmasks the physiological sleepiness that's already in your body. The "post-lunch dip" in alertness
occurs whether or not food is consumed. Our natural sleep pattern is biphasic: We have a
significant drop in body core temperature and alertness at night, and a similar but smaller drop in
the middle of the day. It's then that you need a nap the most, especially if you have slept poorly the
night before.

Sleep Posture
The posture one adopts while sleeping reveals a lot about the personality of the person, his attitude
towards life and so on. Lying down in bed relaxes the muscles of the body and the degree of
relaxation is determined by the sleep posture adopted by the person. In the semifoetal position the
person lies on his side with arms and legs partially folded. The limbs are not kept in an exactly
opposed position. In terms of physical comfort, in this position it is possible to turn from side to side
without undoing the set configuration of the body position. It is supposed to be the best position in
terms of physical comfort. It has, therefore, been considered as the best position for relaxation.
According to an old proverb the kings are known to prefer to sleep on their back, the rich man on
his stomach and the wise man on his side. These abovementioned observations bear testimony to
the superiority of sleeping in semi-flexed position on one side. The sleep position which was
adopted by Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) is a Sunnah and is scrupulously adopted by devout
Muslims. He used to lie on his right-side with limbs slightly flexed, right hand below his cheek and
facing towrds Kaba Sharif. This position is similar to the semi-foetal position described above, and,
obviously in the light of the existing knowledge about sleep posture, is the position adopted by a
highly balanced person psychologically. It is also the best posture for relaxation, both physical and
psychological. Adherence to this sleep posture should therefore, contribute a lot to total body
relaxation.
Islam is a complete religion- A way of life- No wise person would live
without it….The sunnah of Muhammad [Peace be upon him] is a complete
guidance to life!!!!

Best Way of Expressing Islam

Once the Messenger of Allah Muhammad [Peace be upon him] was asked:

"What is the best way of expressing Islam?"

He [pbuh] replied:

"It is to provide food for those who need it and to greet with peace those whom you know as well as those whom you do not know." [Hadith-Sahîh al-Bukhârî]